Annoyingly Unaware

I have difficulty sitting still for extended periods of time, especially when my space is limited and my seat is uncomfortable. For these reasons, I have developed an incredible dislike for airplanes. However, nothing compares to what I recently experienced.

I took a flight to Nashville not long ago. My adventure started at 5 a.m. I stumbled through my rushed morning routine in a limited state of self-awareness, due to a severe lack of sleep. By the time I made my way through security and found my gate, I was in an irritable mood. I was hungry and tired, and the thought of cramming my legs into a small plane was not a pleasant one. However, as I boarded the aircraft and located my seat, I breathed a sigh of relief; it was an aisle seat, which meant slightly more leg room (and easy access to the lavatory!) I settled into my place and closed my eyes as we took off down the runway. As we climbed into the sky, I decided this flight may not be so bad if I could catch up on some sleep, but then I heard...[Read more]

Up Close & Personal

My favorite sport is hockey. However, I recently moved from Canada (the birthplace of modern hockey) to North Carolina (where dictionaries use “sport” and “college basketball” as synonyms). I knew the adjustment would not be easy…but I did what I could: I got involved in a hockey pool with my dad, brother and cousin; I attended my brother’s recreational game, where more fans were watching football on TV in the arena lounge than could be found rink-side. I scouted out a local hockey rink and dropped by for a pick-up game (there were only five of us). I finally tuned into a game on TV, only to discover it was from the previous night and I already knew the outcome. Depression hit me like a slap shot.

Then one night I got a voicemail from my buddy, Jeff. He had two free tickets to an NHL game and he wanted me to go! The seats were…front row right behind the goal. What a night! I felt like I was IN the game! I could see the shots coming! I could feel the vibrations as players slammed into the boards! I could see...

Flying Blind

I remember a particular flight I experienced with my dad. For the most part, it was uneventful. After reading through the “In Flight” magazine and the “Sky Mall” magazine, I was grateful when the pilot finally announced our descent—until I looked out my window. The sun had gone down hours ago, but the darkness did not hide the swirling fog. Had I been able to stick my arm out the window, I would have immediately lost sight of it. A sense of terror gripped me. I am queasy about flying at the best of times, and this only heightened my fear. From the nervous murmurs I heard around me, I was not the only concerned passenger. The pilot’s voice came over the radio to break the tension, which hung in the air as thick as the fog. “Ladies and gentlemen, as you are aware, we have been hit with some unexpected fog and have lost visibility. However, we may still be able to land with guidance from our instruments and the control tower. We are circling the airport now waiting for the right opportunity.” As realization...

Just Follow Your Heart

Few life experiences inspire rancor in me like a trip to the dentist. However, since I had a pretty impressive record of oral hygiene, I expected my recent visit to be uneventful. I was wrong…

It was a last minute appointment. I had been staying at my parent’s place over the Christmas break, and was preparing to drive back home when my mother reminded me of the visit. Since we had relocated from Canada, she thought we should find a dentist in the states. Although I had a four hour drive ahead, I decided to get it over with before I let the year slip by. Besides, my teeth had never given me any trouble, so why worry now? I took the opportunity to gloat to my brother, who had recently been diagnosed with seven cavities! How a guy could let his teeth degrade into that state of disregard I simply could not fathom.

With confidence encompassing me like a halo, I sauntered into the dentist’s office. “Hi there,” I said, flashing a pearly white smile, “I’m here for a quick checkup.” As they led me back to the...

Surrounded by Strangers

There are few moments in life when the hustle and bustle slows down long enough for us to take notice of each other. Each day we pass by our fellow human beings with only a nod or a perfunctory hello to acknowledge their existence, then we continue on our way. However, every now and then we do something unique or stupid enough to garner some attention.

On a particular Saturday with nothing to do, some friends and I decided to entertain ourselves by pooling together our collective musical talent and performing in front of the local grocery store.

We each carefully selected an instrument, ranging from the shaker to the kazoo. I decided to blow the dust off my famous pink nose whistle, completing the ensemble. Then we piled into our cars. We took our positions outside the store and started in to our best rendition of “When the Saints Go Marching In.” We may not have been the most musically gifted bunch, but we played with the passion of rock stars! During my especially moving nose whistle solo, I believe I...

Partly cloudy chance of showers

A few years ago, my brother and I found the perfect solution for exam week stress: A weekend of rock concerts at a music festival in Kentucky! We were able to tweak our exam schedules so that we could fly out the day after we finished and still catch most of the bands. However, we hadn’t prepared for everything…

We got connected with a man our dad met on a previous visit, and he let us crash at his house with his family for the weekend. Not only that, but he was on the planning committee and gave us each backstage passes! We met some new friends and had a great time watching the bands from the closest spots. When the rain came, it turned the ground into mud, prompting everyone to release their inner child and start a mud fight. We were having too much fun to notice the dark clouds rolling in until the wind picked up. Slowly people started pointing to the sky. As we turned our mud-streaked faces towards the darkening weather, my stomach churned as thoughts of The Wizard of Oz rushed through my head. A...

“King Of The Ring”

For three years in a row I had the opportunity to play on an inline hockey team, and I loved every second of it! Having never played in an organized league before, this was as close as I ever came to emulating the legends I watched on TV. However, the sport had become an opportunity for ice hockey regulars to maintain their fitness during the summer months, and they did not look kindly on anyone who took the sport no more serious than a child’s game. In one particular match, a player on the opposing team decided I was trying a little too hard, and it was his job to embarrass me in front of my friends in the stands. Throughout the entire game he made degrading comments to me to try and throw me off. When that didn’t seem to work, he brought his stick into the action. Every time the referee turned his head, I would feel a sharp jab in my ribs or against my legs, followed by his laughter. These actions continued until he finally pushed me too far. After skating past him, I felt a sharp jab in my hip as my...

“Who Ordered The Chef’s Salad?”

When I was younger, my parents didn’t have much money. Their luxurious seminary apartment (which doubled as a roach hotel) was in desperate need of Ty Pennington to drop in and film an episode of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. However, the one object that seemed to turn this “house” into a “home” was a small potted plant. It brought life and color into an ordinary abode. The problem was it also made great salads. At least, to a toddler it did!

I had a nasty habit of pulling the leaves off this poor plant; a practice my father was determined to drive out of me. “Michael,” he told me, “Do not touch this plant. Do you understand me?” I drooled and nodded my head. But before I could stop myself I reached out and grabbed the leaves! My dad quickly seized the guilty appendage and slapped it, leaving me with a not-so-friendly reminder of our recent conversation. Although a smarter child may have learned his lesson at this point, the plant held my attention. Immediately I reached out with my still functioning...

Things Unseen

Many people have a vice in their lives that continues to get the best of them. It may be alcohol, smoking, gossip, or any number of things. For my dog Chevy, it is garbage.

No matter how hard my family tried, we could not get Chevy to stay out of the garbage. Every time we left him on his own, we would inevitably come home to find the kitchen a disaster. Food would be scattered throughout the house, and Chevy would be suspiciously missing from the scene of the crime. Although our trash can sat in the food pantry with the door closed, this opposable thumbless bandit would somehow open that door and feast on the contents within. To make matters worse, apparently “people-friendly food” doesn’t have the same effect as “dog-friendly food,” because it would magically reappear at three in the morning when Chevy started to gag. I have heard the best way to train a dog is to catch him in the act of his misbehavior so that he knows exactly why he is being punished, and I was determined to catch our rebellious...

Standing On Our Shoulders

I had the opportunity this Thanksgiving to spend some time with my grandparents at their house. I was looking forward to kicking back and relaxing for a few days. I had visions of rolling away from the dinner table to leisurely waste away the afternoon in front of the TV. But early on the first morning my dad burst into my room. “Mike, are you ready to put up the Christmas lights?!” It was not a question.

We had strung most of the lights along the garage when we angrily realized they were backwards and the second string could not plug into the first. Our irritation doubled when we realized (after taking the first set down) that they did fit, I just hadn’t pushed hard enough. In frustration, we finally made it to the last corner. As I looked at the ominous task before me, I was reminded of my own mortality. The terrain dropped drastically, leaving the roof much higher from the ground than at any other part of the house. My dad quickly informed me of the seniority he possessed and muttered something about...