Josiah Road

Needles and Reflections

posted by Mike Blackaby 30Oct

I have always hated pain, and when it comes to needles, my weak stomach and feeble courage don’t stand a chance! In September of 2003 I found myself in one of the worst places I can think of: the hospital. After a visit to my doctor about some health issues, I was hastily sent to the hospital to find out what was wrong. Waiting in the emergency room gave me many reasons to be miserable. From the unknown state of my health, to the groaning man behind the veiled mystery certain beside me, to the back-less dress they made me wear in exchange for my dignity, things were not going well. I was attached to numerous machines and thought things couldn’t get any worse when suddenly two beautiful nurses entered the room. All thoughts of my previous gloom disappeared in an instant! Then I realized why they were there.

I started to panic when they approached me with an I.V. needle, planning how I would escape this chamber of torture. One of the nurses reached for my arm and slowly brought her weapon to bear on it, but she stopped to ask me a question. “You aren’t scared of needles are you?” I glanced at the object in her hand (which looked like a tool of medieval warfare) and answered as calmly as I could, “Of course not!” I lied, “I want to stay well hydrated! What’s the hold up? Let’s get this show on the road!” To my dismay, both nurses burst into laughter (and not the “you-are-so-brave-and-rugged-you-make-me-nervous” kind of laughter)! Between fits of chortle, she answered, “You can’t lie while you’re hooked up to a heart monitor!” I followed her eyes to the machinery beside my bed and watched as my heartbeat recorded about 100 beats per second! My secret was out because my heart gave me away.

That was not the first time my heart has ratted me out, nor will it be the last. Hard times reveal our true character. If I ever want to know the condition of my heart, all I have to do is watch how I act when life throws me a curve ball. That day I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes, and started a journey of multiple injections every single day for the rest of my life. That was a major wake up call for me, and I clearly remember God telling me the day before: “Trust me.” I had no idea why, but I would find out less than twenty-four hours later. When God asks me to trust Him today it’s because He knows what I will face tomorrow. He prepared my heart that day so I could face the trials ahead.

Proverbs 27:19 says, “As in water face reflects face, so a man’s heart reveals the man.” When I look at my heart, what do I see? Nothing in life is more important to me than making sure my heart is right with God because only then can I face the obstacles life throws at me.