Today, if you hear His voice, do not harden your hearts as in the rebellion. Heb. 3:15

Last Sunday my pastor preached an awesome sermon on the “Posture of Purity” from Psalm 141. People were visibly moved by the challenge, and I heard many solemn comments about his request for us to grade ourselves on six areas: prayer, worship, words, emotions, thoughts, and our relationships with Jesus. It was evident that many of us felt conviction and realized the need for change in our lives. But as the week has gone on, I wonder how many have put their thoughts into actions?

You see, conviction is not an end in itself. Yes, it is important to recognize sin. After all, that’s the first step to our salvation. In His grace, the Holy Spirit opens our eyes to the fact that we are sinners, and then we can see our need for Christ’s redemption. But what about after we have become believers? What is conviction’s role in our lives as followers of Christ? At best, it is a catalyst for change and our continuing transformation into the Body of Christ. I know … I’ve been hitting the topic of choice pretty hard lately. But I really believe it’s important to consider that we can choose how we will respond to every situation in our lives.

And choosing not to choose is a choice. What? Yes, ignoring conviction and deciding to do nothing about it is a choice. And it’s a very dangerous path to take because it points to our unbelief and leads to our rebellion against God. Why unbelief? Well, when we feel the conviction of the Holy Spirit but decide not to act, we are telling God that we don’t believe His promises to provide what we need to do His will. In Philippians 1:6, Paul writes, “I am sure of this, that He who started a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” If it is God who is calling you to a work or a change, then you can trust Him to complete it.

Choosing not to respond to the conviction of the Holy Spirit not only reveals our unbelief, it also leads to callous hearts and open rebellion against God. As believers, we are privileged to hear the Word of God proclaimed from the pulpits of our churches week after week. It is a blessing that can make us squirm. But the danger comes when we are no longer squirming. We can feel the sting of conviction so many times without responding to it that a thick, hard callous may form on our hearts until we no longer even recognize God’s call. When we do manage to feel something, we shallowly believe that our sorrow is enough. Then we simply put it out of our minds as the callous grows, and our spiritual lives become stagnant and unresponsive to His call.

Just as it does in the lives of unbelievers, conviction requires a response and that response is repentance or change. “Watch out, brothers, so that there won’t be in any of you an evil, unbelieving heart that departs from the living God. But encourage each other daily, while it is still called today, so that none of you is hardened by sin’s deception” (Heb. 3:12-13). We are to respond first in sorrow to our sin but then in joy as we accept His direction in our lives. The choice is still ours!

Lord Jesus, soften the hard places of my heart and restore to me the joy of Your salvation. Give me a willing heart that responds to Your conviction and teach me Your ways so that I may put them into action for Your glory. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen. (Psalm 51)

… choose for yourselves today the one you will worship…. Joshua 24:15

Choice is a very powerful thing. We can choose to sing or to moan, to rejoice or to complain, to act in faith or to fear, to bless or to curse, to encourage or to tear down, to live or to die … so many choices and so much power contained in each one. We know it’s true. Or do we? The proof is in the pudding, as the saying goes, and we often live as though we have no power of choice at all. We blame emotions or circumstances and act as though we are victims rather than victors. Okay, yeah … when I say “we,” what I really mean is “I.” I have been struggling lately. Discouragement, depression, aversion to change. Whatever you want to call it, I’ve been battling it. And every time someone has mentioned that we have the ability to choose our responses to our circumstances, I have thought, “Sure! How can I help how I feel?” Every time, that is, until I finally decided to give it a try. It being faith, of course. You know, putting what I say I believe into action. And although this experiment is still young, I have to tell you that I am amazed at what I am learning.

First, choosing to believe God’s truth is a decision to surrender every day to Him. “This is the day the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it” (Ps. 118:24). He made today. This very day is His, and no matter what struggles it holds, I can rejoice in the fact that He is Lord of all of it. Knowing that He is in control and that I don’t have to be is reason enough to be glad in it. No, I don’t have to paint on a fake “Happy Christian” face to obey this command. I just have to believe that He is Lord and that He is worthy of my praise. Second, my emotions reveal what I believe. “Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable—if there is any moral excellence and if there is any praise—dwell on these things … and the God of peace will be with you” (Phil. 4:8-9). In other words, what I spend my time dwelling on will impact my emotions. Did you catch this? “If there is any praise?” A good friend recently remarked that from now on we should counter any negative statement we make with a word of praise. Wow! What a change that decision has made in our conversations and in our encouragement of one another.

Finally, when I choose to live by faith, to believe God’s truth, and to surrender my day to Him, I take a step closer to His power to overcome the emotional battles I face. “But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness’” (2 Cor. 12:9). He is there to meet me in my weakness and strengthen the faith that keeps me returning to Him. “So because of Christ, I am pleased in weaknesses … For when I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Cor. 12:10). I will still face struggles, but when I turn to God, my battles can bring Him glory.

So … it’s all about choices. Choose for yourself this day who you will worship. This is the day the Lord has made. Will you rejoice and be glad in it?

Thank you, Father, for reaching out to me in my weakness. You have shown me the Way, and You have the power to help me walk in it. Strengthen me to rejoice and be glad in You. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

This summer I decided to tryout for my high school football team. On the first day of practice as we walked down to the practice field, it seemed like all of us were sizing up the competition. There are guys that are six foot five, guys who can run fast and others who have so much endurance they can run five miles and still not be tired.

Even the coaches are sizing up the variety of talent on the field.

Everyone out there had an obsession with winning. For better or worse, in the world of sports it is all about success and performance. But in the game of life, we can’t always go undefeated.

What I am learning in this particular season of my life is that God does not look at our performance. He doesn’t care if I’m the fastest, the strongest, or the tallest; He is interested in my heart and my relationship with Him.

Sometimes I get caught up in the race of pleasing my peers, always trying to perform and get the approval of my “peeps.” Unfortunately, that’s often the way of the world—always about how much bling or how nice the ride you have. I find myself saying to my friends, “Look at that guy’s car or his shoes, his phone, or his I-pod,” and I assume he is successful or cool because of his toys. A person should not be judged by what he has or does not have.

There is a great example in the Bible when Samuel was sent to find the new king. God told Samuel to go to the family of Jesse. Jesse had many sons, many sons with many talents. I imagine that some of his sons were great athletes, and some were the best hunters in Bethlehem, but the one God chose wasn’t the one who was the fastest, the strongest, the one with the most awards, or the most popular guy in Bethlehem. God chose David because his heart was right with God. He probably smelled like old sheep and may have been small, but that didn’t matter to God. God chose him because of his heart not his outward appearance. He would be later known as a man after God’s own heart.

As school starts this year, I need to remember to focus on my heart and not my performance.

Sometimes I think about the kind of man and father and husband I hope to be. Sometimes I think about my many foibles and sins and plain ‘ol human qualities that throw a kink in my desires. Sometimes I wonder how my life would be different if I’d made this choice or that. Sometimes I wonder if anybody will read my books after I’m dead. Sometimes I’m too hard on myself. Sometimes I need a dose of humility via a reality check (a service my wife Miska often happily provides). Truly, my thoughts about myself can roam any which way.

I will say, though, that living with two young boys who have no problem “calling ‘em like they see ‘em” keeps my ego in check. Just the other day, Seth (our 4-year-old) told me plainly, “I don’t like pastors.” Well, okay then…

In our therapeutic and self-absorbed culture, it’s easy to make the case that we think about ourselves entirely too much. We ogle over our image in the mirror. We constantly revisit the stories in our narrative that either make us the hero or allow us to be the victim. We regularly Google our name to see what the cyber world thinks of us - or we additively check back on our blog posts to see who has commented about how fabulous our words were (speaking of which…but I digress). These proclivities can signal the self turned dangerously inward, a little thing the Bible calls selfishness or, worse: idolatry.

However, these impulses can also point to the fact that we were made to have our identity and value lavishly affirmed. We were made to be delighted in and seen and to have our best, truest selves pulled out in the open for all to enjoy.

Over and over again, Scripture affirms our true, deep identity, our true self. We are beloved. We are children of the Father. We are in Christ. We are held in the palm of God’s strong hand. We are beautiful in Jesus. We are strong and brave in Jesus. We are cherished by God, just as Jesus is cherished by God. We are chosen, singled-out, called by name. We are the ones (you and me) with whom God has entrusted His central work: being the people He uses to bring His Kingdom to come on earth, even as it is in heaven.

Thinking about ourselves can actually be an affirmation of hope and faith, whenever our thoughts echo the heart of God.

In my mother’s womb, my parents dedicated me to God. At six-years-old, I realized I was a sinner, begged for His forgiveness, received His grace, and committed my life to Him. At 15, even when I didn’t understand His call, I surrendered to serve Him in ministry with my life. With our history together, He wasn’t going to let me forget these things and His purpose for me.

When my world came crashing down around me at age 20 and I was left at the merciful hands of the Father, I made a decision to change. Not the kind of change you make and then turn your back on three days later—like when you change your eating habits, start a strict, new diet, and out of nowhere, just a few days later, a piece of chocolate cake walks right into your mouth before you can say anything. It was a change that involved total surrender.

My decision to finally wave the white flag and surrender changed my world. I knew that to truly seek Him, I had to literally move away from the environment that had entrapped me. I had to emotionally pull out my scissors and cut the ties that bound me to that destructive lifestyle. And as I entered the unknown—feeling bruised, beaten, even bludgeoned—I trusted Him again for the first time in a long time.

In 2001, I left my home in Texas and transferred to Ouachita Baptist University in Arkansas as a sophomore looking for a new start. Almost immediately upon entering school there, I met and bonded with a small group of girls who embraced me in genuine biblical community. Aware of my tattered state, they prayed for me, picked me up when I fell, and sometimes carried me over four semesters until I graduated in 2002. They became my sisters and remain so today.

It all sounds so dramatic, I know, but it’s not far from how intense things really were. At OBU, I re-discovered a deep love relationship with God and He began a long healing process that lasted the next few years. He was preparing me. So, after my college graduation, when I entered Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary and began working at a church in Dallas, I was ready to actually do what God had called me to.

I can honestly say that my time during seminary was challenging. I knew God had called me there to continue my education, but I also spiritually felt a little like someone who had lost the use of his or her legs and was learning how to walk again. However, I had a fresh new perspective on my relationship with God—I was raw, humble, and surrendered to whatever He had planned for me.

During seminary and shortly after I graduated in 2005, I grew spiritually in leaps and bounds. I couldn’t believe I’d never known His love and grace like this before. So I decided I was ready to go deeper with Him and I made the bold decision to ask for brokenness on January 1, 2006. Big mistake? Or even bigger blessing? I asked myself this over and over for the next 10 months. God broke me every way but loose that year.

Just one more to go. Keep looking out for the final part of “Seeking God” to see what happened.

It was a lonely and painful day of baby-sitting and the only thing I could think to do with my sister was to watch TV. She was getting bored because, of course, me being a guy, I’m not the best baby-sitter. I just watched ESPN for three hours. My sister, desperate for some fun, decided to play a game called “ice pack attack.” She thought it would be funny to nail me in the face with a frigid, freezing cold ice pack.

In my attempt to protect my big tough brother status, I had to retaliate. I grabbed two ice packs out of the freezer and slung one with all my might at her face and, of course, I hit her. Little did I know what was going to happen next? My sister, in her mad dash for protection, jumped on the couch, which happened to be fairly new. I ran over to the couch, ice pack in hand, and started to pummel the pillow she had over her head. As I continued, I noticed this strange blue Jell-O-like substance all over the couch.

I made a mad dash for some paper towels, and as I‘m tearing open the package, I am thinking about how much trouble I am going to be in. I scooped all the ice bag Jell-O junk substance off the couch. Praise God it cleaned up! Not one stain. It turned out to be nothing; but at the time, I took it very seriously.

Then it hit me. Why is it that when I make a mess on the couch, or when I am about to get grounded or get in trouble by my parents that I take things so seriously? But in other areas of my life, I don’t take it seriously and I end up making a careless mess. Sometimes my life can get “Jell-0-like” messy.

I am learning that the only way to avoid the “Jell-O-like” messes in my life is for me to have more of God and less of myself. He is the only way for me to have a fighting chance in this life. I have no hope without Christ having full and complete control of my life. On my own, I will make a mess every time.

The only good in my life is Jesus and nothing else.

John 3:30 … that ‘”He must increase, and I must decrease.” That is so true in my life—that is the only way I can be Jell-O junk free! I need more of Him, less of me!

Recently I received notice from my dentist that I was past due for my annual checkup. Reluctantly, my younger sister Carrie and I booked appointments. We’ve had very different track records with our teeth. On one hand, Carrie’s never experienced a cavity. Having shared a sink since birth I’m painfully aware of why; athletes have completed Olympic triathlons in less time than she spends brushing. I, on the other hand, got about a one/per appointment ratio going. But this time I was determined things would be different.

Sure enough, Carrie finished her check-up with her perfect record intact. The dentist called me in next.

Now, I’ve always hated dentists; how they insincerely ask scripted questions about your life, then jam mini-vacuums halfway down your esophagus while you attempt to gag out replies. But what gets me most is that with every cavity they re-demonstrate state-of-the-art brushing techniques while slowly reciting some brushing jingle like I’m five. Is anything more humiliating?!

This particular appointment, however, I was prepared. I knew full well that I had thought about flossing the same number of times I had thought about long-haired Tibetan mountain goats, that my current toothbrush’s lifespan dated back to the Victorian era, and that every time I smiled into a mirror I half-expected to see Dorothy and Toto skipping along my teeth singing, “follow the yellow brick road…” So I went out and purchased a high quality tooth-bleach-kit. POOF! My teeth were white as snow! My dentist would never know the difference!

Confident in my scheme, I cheerfully popped into the chair and flashed a dazzling smile. After all the usual torture was performed, my dentist returned holding my x-rays. He looked stunned. HA! Didn’t expect these perfect chompers did ya!

Taking a deep breath he began: “Have you been brushing your teeth daily?” How rude! Defiantly I shot back, “Of course! TWICE a day actually! THRICE a…”

“Mr. Blackaby you have three cavity’s…” THREE! In one appointment! Wow, I never thought… “…on your bottom jaw…there’s another four on the upper…Now, allow me to demonstrate some helpful brushing techniques.”

It took three full appointments to complete my fillings. My little sister remarked on the drive home that they could construct a smart-car with the amount of tin they had crammed into my teeth.

As Christians today, do we ever confuse quantity for quality? I’ve been guilty of waking up, skimming a few verses, muttering a half-hearted prayer, and then labeling it my, “Daily time with God.” However, it lacks the time or focus to have any real impact on my life. It serves no real purpose, other than allowing me to go throughout that day feeling guilt-free and accomplished.

Lately I’ve come to understand that daily, does not always equal quality. What does your devotion time look like? Don’t be satisfied with your devotions by their regularity alone, continually strive to go deeper.

Pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks. 1 Thess. 5:17-18

When I left my adolescence and graduated to middle school and the first two years of high school, I was more than made fun of for my faith.

Consistently, I was called “God’s daughter” and “Prude” and “Jesus freak” to my embarrassment. (Actually, I proudly wore the last label since that particular DC Talk song was popular at the time.) I was left out of most secular social activities. I was mocked behind my back and to my face—in the youth group and at school. And even got plenty of criticism from church members.

I was one hurt little girl—not understanding how my Protector could not protect me. So I waned in spending any time with God—feeling as though He had nearly abandoned me and was even allowing the torture to take place.

In my heart, I loved Him like I loved my family. But, in my flesh, my resentment grew and bubbled up inside of me until it erupted my sophomore year of high school. My parents didn’t know it at the time and neither did I, but I began slowly spiraling downward and out of control.

I was sick of being a Christian. I was sick of the mockery. I was sick of the judgment. I was tired of being the rug others wiped their feet on. The church and God both became my enemies. I thought he could give me popularity, peace, and happiness in my situation, but He hadn’t. I was angry.

Sometime during the summer between my junior and senior years in high school, I snapped. My parents didn’t know what happened to me—and I couldn’t explain it either. I think it was a combination of things—a broken heart (brought on by a bad breakup with my first boyfriend), critical Christians, my weakened faith, and my desire to finally fit in for once in my life.

I began running with the wrong crowd, attending all the hottest parties, doing things I said I never would, breaking curfew, lying to my parents, acting out in public—you name it and I did it. Needless to say, my desire to have a deeper relationship and understanding of God wilted altogether and my popularity flourished, as did the sin in my life.

For the next two years, involved in a dangerous relationship with a guy, living the life I chose, and feeling miserable and empty inside, I ran as fast and as hard as I could from God and anything holy. It was the darkest time in my life.

The popularity I’d desired for so long was extremely short-lived and came at a devastatingly high price. I had turned my back on God and embraced the way of the world, and it was time to pay up. My actions came with severe consequences—ones that caused me crash and burn, and finally left me on my face before him begging for mercy.

To find out what happened next, stay tuned for Part 3 …

A man’s steps are determined by the Lord,so how can anyone understand his own way? Prov. 20:24

I just returned from a week at a Christian writers conference. Writers, publishers, and editors from all across the country gathered in a mountain retreat to learn, to teach, and to enjoy each others’ company. Some brought completed manuscripts and book proposals to “pitch.” Some came looking for their next projects. And some came simply to discover if they were even writers at all.

For an introvert like me, the process was overwhelming. Everywhere I turned, people were talking about their dreams and ideas and asking me about mine. Even when I sat at the most isolated table in the farthest corner of the cafeteria, someone would feel compelled to join me and ask, “What do you write?” I met novelists, journalists, poets, and essayists, Bible study writers, writers of children’s books, and several who have not yet written anything outside of their own private journals. Each one had a dream to write something that will someday make a difference in this world for Christ.

As I listened to their individual stories, I noticed a common thread: God was leading these people. Sometimes with a gentle nudge through a close friend’s encouragement. Sometimes with a hard shove as other doors slammed tight, and the writer had no options left but to write. They could “pitch” and “propose” and build “platforms” until their laptops wore out, but it was still God who was gifting, inspiring, and making a way for His message to be heard.

It encourages me to know that my way is in God’s hands. I need to pay close attention to those nudges and shoves He gives me, and I need to be prepared so that when He says, “Go!” I will be ready.

Felt any nudges lately? Maybe you have no idea why, but you believe it is time to prepare yourself. Scripture tells us to “be ready in season and out of season,” “whether convenient or not” (2 Tim. 4:2). For me, that means improving my writing skills. For you, it may mean going to school, starting a new business, or training to run a marathon. For each of us, it means immersing ourselves in God’s word so that when He says, “Go!” we will be ready to run with all our might!

Father, may we keep clear heads about everything, endure hardship, do the work of whatever You call us to do, and fulfill our ministries (2 Tim. 4:5). In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen!

I’ve realized something about myself: I’m a complete sucker for compliments. A couple years ago while doing intern missions in Athens, Greece however, this got me into some big trouble.

I quickly discovered that outdoor flea markets aren’t the best place for me. On my first venture I was bombarded by merchants shouting: “Special price just for the handsome man!” How could I refuse? Ten minutes later my wallet was empty, and my arms were full of useless pots, ugly shirts that didn’t fit, and several Greek souvenirs made in China. Lesson learned…I thought.

I later decided to venture out to the ancient city of Corinth. After a long train ride I arrived. It was such a fascinating place I didn’t even notice when the sun began to set. I realized I’d better return to the station before the last train departed. A voice called out, “Special rate for the attractive young man!” I followed the voice back to a smiling taxi driver. Did he just say “attractive?” I was sold. I informed my new best friend that I needed a lift to the train station. He even knew a shortcut, cutting twenty minutes off the trip, saving me money as a result! What a guy!

Reaching my destination, it didn’t look familiar. I asked for confirmation, and through his thick Greek accent and broken English I was assured that around the building I could find the train to take me to Athens. I handed over the money (which seemed pretty steep, but how could I argue with such a nice man!). Waving goodbye to my buddy I walked around the building and my heart stopped.

It was indeed a train station, but by the looks of it there hadn’t been a train through it in a hundred years. The only life-forms visible were the spiders hanging off the cobwebs. I had just been scammed.

Leaving the station, I discovered I had been left in the most authentic Greek part of Corinth. No one spoke English. My cell phone battery had died, and my wallet was empty (stupid Corinth flea market). The sun was setting and I was completely stranded, with no way home.

I find I’m also easily led astray in my Christian life. Everything around me is constantly telling me how to live and where to go. Usually those paths look really attractive too; but in the end, I’ve found myself in some dark places far away from God’s joy and will for my life.

Aren’t you glad God doesn’t leave us to hopelessly navigate through this life alone? We have an omniscient God who wants to guide us (Isa. 28:29). If you’ve realized you’re already lost on the wrong path, don’t worry. I’m not writing from a shady Corinthian curbside; I found my way back. It’s never too late to return to God and let Him guide your footsteps. I’m lousy in choosing my own paths, so I’m thankful I can rely on God to lead me. He has never led me astray and He never will.

This also comes from the Lord of hosts, who is wonderful in counsel and excellent in guidance. Isaiah 28:29