Math has not been my best subject in school. In fact, it is my worst subject. When I got my report card in the middle of this past semester, I realized I might not pass the class. To bring up my grade to a “C” I was going to have to get at least a “B” on the rest of my tests. The problem was I hadn’t even made a “C” on any of my tests! In higher math everything you learn builds on what you learn next, so passing was looking impossible. I knew that there was no way I could pass on my own. I came to the realization that I needed help.

In Mark 10:24 Jesus teaches about the impossible. “Children, how hard it is to enter the Kingdom of God! It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the Kingdom of God…With men it is impossible, but not with God, because all things are possible with God.”

To me, passing math looked just about as much impossible as a camel walking through the eye of a needle. When I realized that I was incapable of passing on my own, I put it into God’s hands. I prayed about what to do, and this verse offered my answer. See when it comes to salvation from sin, Christ knows all about it. I had failed on my own in math, so I needed someone who knew all about it! God sent a tutor that taught me in a way that I could better understand. Before I had been forgetting the material I was supposed to know by the time I took the test. When I put it into God’s hands, I started recalling everything I needed to know.

I have always been very proud of my grades, and hiring a tutor was something I thought I’d never have to do. My pride was something I had to get rid of though in order to obey God. When I put what I was worried about into God’s hands, I had to submit all the way. When the Word says, “With men it is impossible, but not with God, because all things are possible with God,” that means I CAN”T DO IT!!! So why do I hold on at times when I can’t do the impossible? That is something I have to work on.

When I finally submitted to what God asked me to do, He blessed my obedience! My final test grade was a 97, and I passed the class one point under a B! God is so incredible! I was failing and just like times before, Christ saved me.

“Father, Your power is everlasting and unmatched. I pray that I will learn to submit to You with out hesitation, please fill my life. I want to see You every day.”

This past Sunday, my church family celebrated the Lord’s Supper. As is our custom, the “body” of Christ was passed back and forth along the pews on silver trays, and each believer in the sanctuary carefully extracted a single piece to hold until all were served and the pastor had asked God to bless it. As I held the bread between my thumb and index finger, really more of a square, cracker-like substance than bread, I noted the powdery white residue that clung to my fingertips, and a thought began to grow in my mind. Yes, I know I should have been praying or meditating, but sometimes my mind has a mind of its own. (Is such a thing possible?) Anyway, I noted the fine powder on my fingers and began to think of how communion with the Lord should leave just as visible an impression on my life as the “bread” did on my hands.

Next came the “blood” in tiny plastic cups, and again, while we waited, I pondered the thimble full of watery juice. Fruit juice … Adam and Eve ate forbidden fruit which brought death into this world. I too have sinned, and the fruit of my sin is also death. In His death, Christ paid the price for my sin and made the once-for-all, perfect sacrifice. Death cancelling death. Forbidden fruit, the fruit of my actions, and the fruit juice in my hands representing the blood of my Lord spilled in a purple stain, a lasting impression that cannot be removed. Nothing can separate me from the love of Christ which this cup represents. And then it was time once again to pray.

The church in which I was raised called the Lord’s Supper by a different name, Holy Communion. While both names are good and right, I am glad to be reminded of the meaning of communion. My World Book Dictionary defines it as a “close spiritual relationship,” and that is exactly what it represents to me. Because Christ was willing to put Himself in our place, to condescend to be with us, we can have a true relationship with the One who has been from the beginning. He bent down to see us face-to-face as a father bends to speak with a tiny child and lifted us up to be His own, to make us heirs in His kingdom. By His grace, we are forever changed, transformed in the Spirit, impressed forever by this holy communion with the Holy God. With purple lips and white fingertips, we do this in remembrance of Him.

Dear Lord, cause me to do everything in remembrance of You. May I always be aware of your great grace and the remarkable change that your gift has made in my life. Let me leave your fingerprints on everyone and everything I touch, the powdery residue of a true communion with my Savior. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.

Over the past two weeks, I’ve shared how I reached a breaking point with my insomnia and how God responded in a miraculous way. However, despite feeling His comfort, I still couldn’t sleep at night. For three months I waited on God to cure my insomnia. I knew God cared about my situation, but I saw no reason why He wouldn’t help me. Then youth camp came along and put everything into perspective!

To cut through the awkward silence of our first nightly church-group sharing time, I spoke up, “Hey not to sound like a broken record, but my insomnia is as bad as ever. Could you keep praying? Maybe God will take it away…”

“I need to share!” came a soft voice from across the room, and I turned to see who had interrupted me. It was a sixteen-year-old girl who had attended youth group off-and-on. She continued…“This past year has been the hardest of my life. Between a sticky family situation, an unhealthy dating relationship, and running with the wrong crowd, I drifted far from God. One night I came home really late from a party, slightly drunk, and feeling miserable. I seriously considered taking my life. I logged onto MSN and noticed Daniel was the only one still on. We weren’t friends, but I needed to vent. I started unloading all my anger, but slowly our conversation shifted back to my faith. Though it was almost 5:00 a.m., we met in person. By the end of that night, I had rededicated my life to God. If Daniel had not been awake, I would still be running from God – or dead.”

She had barely finished when a guy spoke up: “I’ve also had the hardest year of my life. Situation at home hasn’t been good; been into bad stuff—I couldn’t take it. I strapped ice bags to my wrists and planned to end it all, but I felt I needed to at least tell someone. It was 4:00 a.m. and I didn’t know who to talk to. Then I remembered Daniel would probably be awake. Sure enough, he answered the phone right away and we talked all through the night. We met for breakfast the next morning, and here I am. I can say for sure that if Daniel had not been up that night, I would be dead.”

Speechlessly, I watched a domino effect take place. Three more youth shared how they had reached their weakest points at a time when their pastors, parents, and friends were all asleep, but I had been awake to help them!

I’d been praying for God to remove my burden, but he had bigger plans than that. He used my lowest moment to do His greatest work through me. Have there been trials in your life? Has God seemed to ignore your prayers? Maybe He wants to do a significant work through you. If I had my own way, I would have slept at night; but the testimonies at camp proved it’s not about me. I am blown away that God would use someone like me in such a powerful way. Ironically, my sleep has improved immensely! Hopefully, God has moved me to the day shift!!

“And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, and those who are called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28

Isn’t it funny how the seemingly littlest things can change your life? I asked my girlfriend the other day how she decided to pursue fashion design. She responded, “Well, I watched the movie 13 Going On 30 and I decided what I wanted to do with my life….” After one quick laugh from me and a quicker verbal slap-to-the-face from her, I realized how much little things can impact our lives. For me, it was a bright pink, flowery piece of paper…

Last week we left off my story with me in a hopeless and lonely place. My insomnia had reached an all-time low, and there was no light at the end of the tunnel. Confused, I couldn’t understand why God wouldn’t answer my prayers for healing. On one particular night, June 8th, sitting alone in my basement I glanced towards the clock—3:15 a.m. I sensed another all-nighter looming.

Frustration swept over me; in despair and with watery eyes I collapsed to my knees and cried out, “God, why don’t you answer me? Do I have to carry this burden alone? Do YOU even care anymore? I need comfort and reassurance that You’re aware of what I’m experiencing. If You’re real like I believe you are, I need You to reveal yourself, because I’m having a hard time seeing You.” I finished my prayer, and then waited through another lonely and sleepless night.

Later that week I retrieved the family mail, and was surprised that there was a letter addressed to me. In an age of e-mail and text messaging, I found it odd to receive a written letter. Even more curious was that it was sent by my friend Kelley, who lived just down the street. Noticing it was dated June 8th, I quickly opened it, and pulled out a pink piece of paper:

Daniel, I just wanted to write you a note to see how you’re doing. I’ve been praying for you lots lately…God’s really laid you on my heart lately, and I don’t know why yet, but I felt like I need to continue to pray for and encourage you. God works in mysterious ways, so maybe me being inspired to write you a note is part of a bigger picture I can’t see…

In His service,

Kelley,

(P.S. Sorry the paper is pink!)

Matthew 11:28-29

What an answer to prayer! Full of emotion, I sprinted to her house. I asked about the note. She explained, “It was funny, I got home from a volleyball tournament totally exhausted. I flopped on my bed and was instantly asleep. But I woke up in the night and couldn’t get you off my mind. I’d never done anything like that before, but I just felt I had to write you that note.” “Out of curiosity,” I asked, a chill running down my spine, “do you remember what time you got up to write it?” She thought for a second and then nodded, “Yeah, I remember looking at my clock…it was 3:15 a.m.”

I’ve never been the same. As I was still praying, God was answering. That night God revealed that He never abandons or forsakes me, no matter how difficult life may be. Have you ever felt like maybe God isn’t hearing your prayers? Or feel like you’re facing the world alone? Be encouraged to know that God is always there, even if you can’t always see it.

That night God showed me that He was with me during my insomnia, but I still was without an answer to why He was allowing me to suffer. Next week I’ll conclude my story with how God’s purpose was fulfilled in powerful ways.

Matthew 11:28-29 Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

“Then the Lord God formed the man out of the dust from the ground and breathed the breath of life into his nostrils, and the man became a living being.” Genesis 2:7

So many things inspire us: passionate works of art, literature that gives voice to our deepest thoughts, music that speaks a message of truth, the splendor of creation, the stinging beauty of sacrifice, and on and on. This world is full of things that move us and fill us with a bittersweet sense of longing. But a longing for what? Even we are hard pressed to express what it is we desire. More beauty, more song, more meaning, more purpose? God only knows; yet, instead of turning to Him, we rush from one activity to the next, feeling self-important and useful for brief shining moments. We almost manage to grasp that illusive treasure we seek; but, at the end of the day, sighing, breathless, and exhausted, we find ourselves as limp and useless as a deflated balloon. “Finally,” I can imagine Him saying. “Finally, you are still and ready to receive what I alone can give! Now, ‘stop your fighting—and know that I am God.’” (Psalm 46:10)

As only God could breathe the breath of life into the first man, only God can breathe that life into each of us and cause us to be filled with the Spirit that satisfies our craving for more. He whispers to us in a still, small voice and hovers over us with His Holy Spirit. He breathes into us His desires and fills us with His understanding. And, He gives us His Word: Jesus Christ who is the Word (John 1:1) and the Holy Scriptures all of which are “inspired by God and … profitable for teaching, for rebuking, for correcting, for training in righteousness, so that man may be complete” (2 Tim. 3:16-17).

Aha! True inspiration, the very breath of God, the air that lifts us from the exhaustion of our own gasping efforts and fills our lungs with life! Inspired by the breath of God, we exhale to change ourselves and the world around us, to teach the truth of God’s grace, to serve those who are hurting and still struggling, and to train others in the ways of righteousness so that all men whom God calls may be made complete.

Feeling breathless? Longing for something more? Stop and inhale deeply. Breathe in the Breath of Life. He alone can completely fill the craving of your soul and inspire you to be His new creation.

Lord Jesus, you are the very air we breathe. You alone can fill the longing of my heart. Sharpen my ears to hear your whispers of love and breathe into me the breath of new life. In your power and inspired by your love, I pray. Amen.

Have you ever wondered about your limits? I remember seventh grade gym class and what they called, “The Endurance Test.” The test was simple; do push-ups until you collapse in a sweaty mess on the floor. The amount of push-ups done before the fall gives you your grade. I quickly discovered what my limit was! (Hey, nothing wrong with a good ‘ol C-, right?)

I think Christians have spiritual limits, too. When life is going well I trust God with everything and praise His name. But when things aren’t going so well I tend to struggle. Is there a point where you begin to doubt that God can help you or when you question if He’s even willing to help you?

Over the next three weeks I want to share my testimony of how I reached a breaking point, and how God used that situation to do amazing things, forever changing my faith and perspective on Him.

Around the time I was failing “The Endurance Test,” I began to develop another problem: I couldn’t fall asleep at night. I was assured this was a normal struggle for boys my age and that it would quickly pass. However, my insomnia didn’t pass… it got worse. And worse.

I would lay awake a little later each night, and I began to worry. I tried a smorgasbord of methods: sleeping pills and natural methods – massage, light therapy, exercise, and relaxation. My insomnia was worsening. Nothing helped. By now my parents were worried too, and they checked me into a professional sleep clinic. No improvement.

We asked the church and my youth group to pray. Believing in the amazing power of prayer, I was convinced my insomnia would disappear immediately. However, to my disbelief, it got even worse.

I reached the point where falling asleep before 6:00 a.m. was cause for celebration. I’d experience stretches of three to four consecutive nights without a minute of sleep. Life became unbearable; school became impossible, eventually forcing me to pull out and begin home schooling. Those long nights, sitting in my basement all alone, made me lonely, angry, and depressed. I couldn’t understand why God wasn’t lifting this burden from me and answering the many prayers for healing.

The Bible says Job’s circumstances brought him to his breaking point. His wife urged him to curse the Lord for all he’d suffered. (Job 2:9) Job refused, saying, “though He slay me, yet will I trust him.” (Job 13:15a). Job decided that no matter how tough life got, he would trust in God

Have you reached a breaking point? Are you committed to trust the Lord no matter what? When my insomnia reached its worst point, I decided to keep my faith, and God did tremendous things. Next week I’ll share how God responded to me in amazing ways!

One afternoon, when our youngest son Seth was two, he loudly declared, in broken toddler English, “I God.” Seth does have a strong sense of self - and for that, we are thankful. However, if he makes a life-habit of such pronouncements, he will, of course, be living the grandest delusion.

According to Psalm 90, citing a prayer of Moses preserved for us by the author of the Psalms, if there is any one reality (and there are many) that delineates us from God, it is how vastly different we relate to time. We humans forever live under time’s heavy heel; God doesn’t.

Moses’s prayer tells us that God exists from “everlasting to everlasting.” (Ps 90:2) That’s quite a line; but frankly, I don’t have the foggiest clue what it means. My entire frame of reference is bound to days and years and seconds and centuries. I can’t even begin to account for a reality that essentially pays the calendar no mind.

To further punctuate our humble situation, the psalm reminds us that when our days are done, our body merely disintegrates back to dirt, ashes to ashes and dust to dust. Worse, Moses suggests that seventy or eighty years are about the most we mortals can hope for. How do we respond to this bleak picture?

Do we let fear overwhelm us, believing that our life is meaningless and empty?

Do we live for the moment, grabbing whatever of life we can stuff down our face?

Do we worry? Do we deny? Do we just turn off our brain and do whatever we like?

Moses responded differently. Moses prayed.

Here, we face the temptation to roll our eyes and mumble, “Well, of course, what a nice Christian cliché. Pray about it.” I have these feelings myself. However, my dismissive reaction reveals that my understanding of prayer is neutered and tame and dull.

For Moses, his prayer was not a trite plea to God mumbled without any authentic grappling with the dire situation. Prayer was his way of reordering himself to God’s reality, of seeing his world and his life for the mess they truly were at that point in time – and asking God to do something about it. Prayer is the posture of asserting that we are desperate for God’s redemption – and that if our God does not move on our behalf, then we are truly doomed.

So Moses prayed: God, teach us to number our days. (Ps. 90:12) To number is to take inventory, to sum up the reality of our predicament. And I love Moses’ motivation for his prayer: so we may gain a heart of wisdom. He wanted to rightly assess his earthly time not so he could hoard it but so he would know how to use it, how to live from his heart, how to live for causes and truths that deeply mattered. Moses wanted to know how to give his days away with a wise brand of recklessness.

We do not count our days like a miserly geezer stuffing all our minutes in an old coffee tin and shoving them under our mattress. We take stock of our days so we will recognize our days are too fleeting to spend our time wrapped in an illusion. We count up our days so that we will live prayerfully, hopefully trusting in God’s power to use our hands and our voice and our short stretch of time to join God’s redemption of his world.

As we live this prayerful way, we stay attuned to the hurt and the pain all around us and attuned to the many ways God is working against those evils. Some pray while painting. Some pray while feeding the hungry. Some pray while nursing a malnourished orphan. Some pray while loving their neighbor or giving themselves to their job, working with honor like Adam and Eve did in the Garden of Eden. Some pray while writing poetry (like Moses in Psalm 90). And some pray with plainspoken words.

How we pray and how we do God’s work in the world is not the primary concern. That we pray, that we spend our days doing God’s work in the world – that must grab our full attention.

I have a confession to make. Ready? I pray for my favorite sports teams. There, I admit it! I’m a sports fanatic, and sometimes I feel my teams need an extra boost. The league can ban steroids; but they can’t ban my prayers! However, my almost undefeated New England Patriots’ massive choke in this year’s Super Bowl is proof that God doesn’t always answer those prayers!

You may be laughing at my pathetic attempts to help my team; but if I asked you if you believed God answers prayers, how would you respond? I think most of us would answer without hesitation; that of course, He does! However, I find it interesting that our lips and our actions often contradict each other. When life is hard, what’s the first thing I usually do? I’ll be honest and say that I usually try and fix the problem on my own. If (and when) that fails, I may go to my parents or to my close friends for help. I’m sure many of you can relate to me in that. It seems we go everywhere BUT to God in prayer. Why is that? Why is prayer typically our last resort? Is there really power in prayer?

If there is, then why do I take it for granted? As a Christian, I have free access to an all-knowing God who longs to help me. The same God who created the universe offers His guidance and wisdom; but sometimes I seem to think I can do a better job fixing my problems on my own. I usually end up just making a huge mess of things.

Lately, I have found myself asking, “Who is the first person that I go to for help or guidance? Dad? Mom? Best friend? Counselor? The Internet?” “Is there anything going on in my life right now that I feel uneasy or unsure about?” “If so, have I brought it to God?” I am learning that God will respond to me whenever I intently seek Him!

Now without faith it is impossible to please God, for the one who draws near to Him must believe that He exists and rewards those who seek Him. Hebrews 11:6

Figure 1 An aerial view shows the path of the F-4 tornado that hit Union University’s campus on Feb. 5, as well as the breadth of the destruction.

I’m a Union University evangelist. I have been for a few years now. I love my alma mater. I loved it while I was there and missed it terribly when I left. I have even voluntarily attended recruitment events after graduation. But I have never been more proud of the “ole UU” than in the last week.

Around 7:00 p.m. on Feb. 5, an F-4 tornado cut a path through the middle of Union University, damaging 17 of the 18 buildings on campus (Figure 1).

Eighty percent of the dorm rooms were damaged, many of them completely destroyed. Most students had sought shelter in the bathrooms of their dorms and the hallways of commons areas. In a moment, it was over, but the following hours were filled with prayers, desperate cries, heroism, and service.

Tears well up in my eyes as I try to imagine the scene. My beloved university—where I spent warm spring days studying with my windows open, talked with my future husband at the fountain, and left my baby sister in the safe and loving arms of the campus community—was in chaos.

When the Jackson-Madison County EMA director pulled onto the campus, he expected to find 50–100 people dead. He found none.

The Union community responded with immediate compassion: students digging students out of the rubble; faculty and staff taking home cars full of students; churches donating clothes, food, and money. By the weekend, the university had to turn away volunteers.

I don’t have room to write all of the God stories now, but I hope I can soon. It’s my prayer that I never forget the hand of God after seeing Him so clearly through this tragedy. He protected those students that night, and He is providing for them now.

Union is a special place. I’ve never been a part of a stronger community, not even in my small hometown or local church. I don’t want to sound cliché or self-promoting—I really don’t—but at the center of this community is Christ. He makes the faculty, the staff, the students, and the university who they are.

Through this horrific event, the Union community has grown. Those who were casual observers have become allies. Those who had drifted from their ties are throwing themselves into the relief effort. Those who had never before heard of this little school are hearing the name of Christ proclaimed and glorified.

I’m asking now that you pray for the university and for all of those who have been affected. Please pray that the name of Jesus Christ continue to be lifted up. He is making Himself known in the midst of this disaster.

Please check back with us for the stories of those miracles.

They said, “It’s not you, it’s us.” Classic breakup line, right?

I felt so rejected and almost a little betrayed. My mom and dad couldn’t provide the answers as to why this had happened. My friends didn’t know what to say. I felt like no one even really cared about the situation. But it was a really big deal to me.

So I got in my car, drove aimlessly around Dallas, Texas, and eventually started venting to God about my crisis.

It felt weird at first—honestly spilling my guts and using a tone that I thought may be somewhat irreverent in his presence. But then I realized something. That’s the way he wants me to come to him—he wants to talk with the real me.

He sees all of my junk, my thoughts, and my actions every day anyway. Why not talk openly with him about it? Why not share my deepest emotions and feelings with the one who created me?

I don’t make it a habit of being mad at God or taking weekly road trips in order to talk to Him about my misfortunes or headaches. But I have learned to have real, candid conversations with him about my hurt, my joy, my day at work, my friends, my desires, my job—things like that.

Since I made this discovery, my prayer life has become more alive than ever before. I don’t feel like I’m praying to the ceiling any longer. I feel connected to the Father in a way that is even harder for me to explain.

I never understood it when people would talk about Jesus as if he were their best friend. But now I do.

When I am feeling lonely, I talk to him. When something great has happened in my life, I thank him profusely for his blessings and tell him how sovereign I truly believe he is. When someone or some situation has tripped me up, I ask him questions and wait for his answers.

No longer are my prayers ritualistically rigid. They have morphed into beautiful conversations with the one I adore, the lover of my soul, and my very best friend—Jesus.